Friday, January 23, 2015

Parental Guidance from the Teen's View


Yeah, I know that you never understand what it's like being a mom or dad till you actually are one, but I do know what it's like being the kid.

Okay, it really drives me crazy when "grown-ups" treat you like you’re an idiot. No offense but usually that happens. For instance, I was walking into a pet store to buy a fish, and this lady just goes all freaking blabber mouth on me, telling me that I didn't have the right kind of water and I should have a parent take care of them and whatnot, and I'm just standing there like ... . Seriously, a teenager is JUST AS capable as an adult! Yes, our brains are not quite fully developed, but if we have the facts and know how to do whatever, we can do it appropriately. I really don't understand why people think that just because you’re not out of school means that you can't handle anything.

Don't stereotype the teen for being irresponsible just because you were or your friends were or whatever. I was talking to my friend about this. “Just because my friends are idiots don’t mean I am," she said. Yeah, she gets that her parents want to protect her, but they can't help her when she goes to college or gets a job and she's not street smart. Most parents have this 'knowledge' drilled into them that their kid is always less mature or less smart than they truly are, and even if they really are irresponsible, it's still important to let them be them, show them how to be responsible instead of deciding that they are careless and don't let them fight their own fights. No matter how much you want to protect your child, the ugly truth is that you're not always going to be there, and it is always better to let them learn life skills while your around so that you can help them learn, than to hold them back, and when they move out they will have to learn those things without you, and that will always be difficult because you're not there to catch them when they fall.

Two things that are rather important for parents to know is that they need to let their kid explore. For an example, I grew up in China, aka around people smoking all the time, and I still can't get that feeling of clogged lungs out of me, and I have never wanted to smoke since then, ever. Same with drugs - if you have a friend or family member that does that and gets sick, I doubt that you would want that, but that is only me, so, I don't know if that method would work well for anyone else. Number two is to just let your kid be himself/herself. If you put too much pressure on them, they'll either end up hating you, or completely not healthy. I had a friend in china, her mother would make her do Band every day, you know, the marching kind, and I remember talking with her, all she wanted to do was art, not music, and I accidentally let that slip to her mother. I never saw her again, she was angry because now her mom has her in an art class, three hours every day, seven days a week. Her mom killed her hobbies by turning them into torture.

The friend that I talked earlier about also has parent issues. Her parents don't trust her with anything, I've seen it first-hand. They love her, and deep down I know she loves them, but she's so mad because they won’t listen to her. She tries to plead her case and they just walk away. I have spent hours thinking about this and I think that they just think she's a stereotypical teenager; dumb, irresponsible, idiotic, and pressured (meaning that if her friends pressure her into something stupid she'll do it).
Your loved basket case,

TheYoungTraveler

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